


And I'll be yours forever

by RavenSnowStar94



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Christmas Fluff, Christmas Tree, First Kiss, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-21
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:49:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28206366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RavenSnowStar94/pseuds/RavenSnowStar94
Summary: Rafael doesn't have a tree.Carisi thinks that's an absurd.They go tree shopping and for the first time Rafael doesn't hate the cold because Carisi is there.
Relationships: Rafael Barba/Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr.
Comments: 6
Kudos: 47





	And I'll be yours forever

“Wait. What do you mean you don’t have a Christmas Tree?”

Carisi sounded as if Rafael had personally offended him, so he rolled his eyes already expecting a migraine. 

“I don’t have one, Carisi. Your good catholic heart is breaking with this news?”

The detective put his coffee down, throwing a desperate look towards Olivia as if she would say anything to get her inside this mess that Carisi will make. He was always taking everything out of proportion.

“I have court in fifteen minutes so excuse me.” Rafael grabbed his briefcase, adjusted his tie and stood up from the chair, the restaurant they were at had a low light giving a comfortable atmosphere to the place, an intimate tone.

He hastily walked out of the restaurant, already annoyed with the sound of cars rushing through Park Avenue, he needed a vacation, of course his secretary Carmen would laugh at him if he said those thoughts aloud. Rafael had two years of vacation days piling up, he hated going back to his apartment and having to do nothing, it seemed aimless, even if his body needed a break. He wasn’t young anymore.

His watch showed he had time so he walked slowly, trying to not be surprised when he heard rushed footsteps coming towards him, he knew who would be, his shadow and honestly, someone who has been hunting his dreams nowadays.

“Hey, wait up, counselor!” Some people looked at him, but he didn’t stop.

Carisi caught up with him when he had to stop before crossing the street.

“What, Carisi?”

“Try to not sound so happy with my presence…” The sarcasm was something that Rafael was used to but sort of hated when Carisi used it with him.

They crossed the street together, the detective’s hand brushing against Rafael as they walked huddled in the middle of a crowd of New Yorkers. He tried not to mind that, not to see as a sign, but his dreams were there in his mind. His suspicions too.

When they reached the stairs of the court house, Rafael turned and saw that Carisi tried to hide his face inside his grey scarf.

“Are you going to follow me everywhere?”

“No! I was just-“ Carisi was flustered but then got his act together before continuing. “I’m going tomorrow to a house upstate that sells Christmas trees...do you want to come?”

His voice was determined, and that made Rafael think a little before answering.

It wasn’t that he was worried with this invite, it was that he feared being alone with Carisi, he feared fool things he would want to do and he was too old for heartbreak if the detective had been sending mixed signals at him these past few months. Rafael dared to say these past few years since they met.

Rafael hated long trips in cars, hated Christmas even though his mother would kill him if hearing it, but something about Carisi’s hopeful look made him sigh and agree to this thinking bomb of a trip.

“You actually agreed to social things with me? Are you sick, counselor?”

“I’m already regretting-“

“Pick you up at 9 o’clock tomorrow morning.”

The detective ran back through the path they just walked together, waving and almost smiling. Rafael went back to climb the stairs, already dreading the time he would have to say to his secretary he would take Saturday off from work. There would probably be a gasp and wanting to call an ambulance.

He thinks he needs to stop being around such dramatic people.

*****

Carisi said it would take around two hours to reach the place, he said it was a ranch but it was now a wood store that an old couple owned. They were sitting in the car in absolute silence, Rafael wearing his more casual clothes, linen pants and a white shirt with a cashmere cardigan, his coat was on the back seat with what seemed to be Carisi's apartament. He swears he saw more than one coffee mug on the floor, and bags of books.

“Do you live in your car?” He asked when the tapping of Carisi’s finger was becoming too loud.

“What? Hum, no? I just like to have my things near me...my college books and gym stuff.” Rafael could see a little smile forming on the corner of the detective’s thin lips. “I know it’s a mess, sorry. Should have cleaned when I invited the tidiest person ever to come with me.”

“And why did you invite me? I told you I won’t buy a tree.” Rafael was trying to make the detective slip, find something that would make Rafael know where they stand.

“First, what an audacity not to have a Christmas tree, and second...I thought you needed a break. I could hear the ulcer brewing in your stomach, counselor.” Carisi smirked and threw a strange look towards Rafael. "And third...well, I was thinking a road trip might be good for us to get to know each other."

The last words were barely a whisper, Carisi ventured outing out his true intentions and Rafael was mildly impressed by the courage. He knew he wasn't the most warm person, and everyone steered clear of him when the subject was his personal life. So for Carisi, a ten year younger detective born and raised in Staten island to come up and say this to Rafael...he had courage. Something the ADA already knew after working for almost four years together.

"Are you trying to say that this is all a ruse to get a date with me, detective?" 

He didn't dare look at the blond man steering the car, he looked ahead on the snowy road and tried to not breathe too loud. Why he was worried about the volume of his breathing was out of his knowledge.

"In my defense...I'm pretty sure that if I asked you out on a date you would say 'no', so I took this opportunity." Carisi sighed. "If I-I offended you...hum, I'm not even sure if-"

"Carisi, I'm bisexual." Rafael said with a factual tone. He wasn't hiding his sexuality, but poor Carisi was almost having a heart attack judging by the sweat dripping from his temple.

"Oh, I'm gay!"

At least the worry of Carisi being attracted to men was cleared out. 

"And we arrived!"

Rafael paid attention to the road again and noticed the path of snow going towards an acre of trees, a big house peeking from the branches and a yellow light coming from the open door at the front.

Carisi parked the car near a row of four cars, meaning there were already other people there with the same intention: finding the perfect tree. And Rafael even being annoyed by the whole.ordeal, he was a competitive ass and he will be getting Carisi a perfect tree.

Before they reached the house, Carisi grabbed Rafael's coat sleeve, urging him to stop. 

"I'm gonna act as if this is a date, alright?"

Rafael was caught off guard with the statement slash question, he saw the glint of determination in those blue eyes staring at him. So Rafael did something that surprised even himself.

He caught Carisi's gloved hand, and then put their hands inside his coat pocket. 

The smile on Carisi's face was almost worth the cold he was feeling and the fact that Rafael was sure his socks were already wet even though he was wearing boots made for snow.

“I come here every year to grab my tree, usually with my sisters but this year my Ma and Dad went to Mexico so we are all spending time with friends or partners…” He seemed to avoid saying something. “I really want to get one for my apartment- yeah yeah, it can’t be too big but size doesn’t matter, right?”

Rafael glanced at Carisi knowingly.

“Ah, you know what I mean, Counselor!” He laughed, and Rafael couldn’t stop the little smile forming on his lips.

It was strange being so close to the detective, so close and without work colleagues around them to remind them of their positions. Rafael now knew that all of this ruse was to get a date with him, but he also knew that finding a perfect tree for the blond man’s apartment was also important.

They entered the house, some families were around the place looking through Christmas decorations with their kids and elderly, but they were crossing the room towards a back door and away from the warm atmosphere, again.

“If you are cold, I can put my arms around you…”Carisi said with that easy going tone he always had, but that now seemed to be filled with joy.

They were in the middle of a maze of trees, Rafael could hear some people chatting but couldn’t see them, it was impossible to see anything beyond the walls of trees, even if some weren’t that tall. 

Rafael felt Carisi taking his hand out of his pocket and walking towards one of the trees who was almost his size, he looked up, feeling the little flocks of snow falling on his face and for the first time not hating this season. He thought of the calmness around him, of the sensation of being on a vacation and of how he really needs to take one for real before his next break is in the hospital due to stress. 

And there was Carisi. The detective who always annoyed him but somehow Rafael couldn’t hate him, of how the man’s eyes always seemed to be on Rafael and he hated to admit that it made his heart flutter a little. But being a man in his forties he decided that he wouldn’t make those dark thoughts of his take away the little glimpse of being happy he found to be so rare in his life nowadays. He looked down and Carisi was looking at him a few steps away, his hands inspecting branches of trees but his eyes on Rafael.

“Found the one?” Rafael asked.

“Oh-” Carisi looked down at his hands and blushed, Rafael liked that he had this kind of effect on the detective. “Nope, maybe down that path…”

Rafael followed Carisi through the corridors of massive trees, some with few leaves and others more compact, some a little crooked but not taking the beauty of it. He begrudgingly admitted to himself that it was in the end a relaxing get away...or date as Carisi pointed it out before.

Speaking of Carisi…

“Carisi?” Rafael looked around but the blond head disappeared while he was occupied monologuing with himself.

He walked towards a voice who felt familiar to Carisi and was caught by surprise when long arms pushed him in the middle of an opening between trees and Rafael felt his back being smashed on a trunk of a tree.

“Boo.” Carisi said, smiling.

His face was a few inches away from Rafael’s.

“Very funny, detective.” He said sarcastically.

For a short time they just stayed looking at each other and then Carisi took one step closer and their bodies were chest to chest. Rafael was distracted by the proximity, by the warmth of Carisi’s body even in this cold weather and the fact they were in the middle of snow.

“You could call me by my name…” Carisi whispered, almost touching their lips together.

“Never quite pegged you to be so forthright in trying to seduce me, Sonny.”

“I wasn’t sure if my forthright attempts would be welcome...but we are on date and alone and damn, I couldn’t resist you on a normal day, imagine after seeing you smiling at the sky...I just had one thing in my mind.”

Rafael put his gloved hands on each side of Carisi’s face.

“Tell me.”

So Carisi told him.

Not with words but with careful pecks on Rafael’s chapped lips, with lingering kisses on Rafael’s eager mouth and then with deep kisses that were warming a frozen Rafael. More than that, they were making Rafael want to just stay there in the snow, even though he hates snow.

But Rafael found out quickly that he loved Carisi’s kisses.

The way they bumped each other's noses when coming up for air and those blue eyes looking so lovingly at him for a brief moment before they were lost in each other's mouths once again.

*****

After what felt forever but it was only half an hour, they went back to the mission of finding Carisi a tree because Rafael was still not going to buy one for him. Carisi felt that him being there was already a huge step into the light and his optimism started to rub off on Rafael. Obviously he didn’t change his mind but he was starting to be amused by the whole situation and the way Carisi was so excited with nature.

“This one is too big...I don’t think it will fit in my apartment.”

“Get that one you saw before, then.” Rafael said, trying to help.

“That one was fine, but- never mind.” He was almost turning around when Rafael caught his arm.

“Sonny, take this one.”

“But the top is going to be messed up, the tree is taller than my roof...it’s a small loft.”

Rafael was sure it might be stupd what he was going to say next but he was trying to make this date great and he was actually interested in keeping Carisi for more than stolen kisses between trees. For some time already, Rafael thought of Carisi as something he would like to have constantly in his life, not only work related.

“Buy this one, we can put it in my apartment. It has space and you can come and spend Christmas with me and not sulking in your small loft.”

Carisi was speechless for the first time since Rafael met him. It was a little awkward standing there while Carisi didn’t say anything, only nodding and then asking for a uniformized woman to help him put in his car, Rafael went to pay for the tree while he sneaked a glance towards Carisi disappearing in the parking lot with the woman to attach the tree over the car.

“You got a nice one! Hope you have a wonderful Christmas.”

The lady behind the register smiled at him while handing his card back, he said his goodbyes to her and walked a little dazed towards the car. Seeing the woman was still checking if the tree was secure while Carisi seemed lost in thoughts sitting in the driver's seat.

"It's all good! Be careful on the road.” The woman said, waving to Carisi and stopping to greet Rafael.

They were both inside the parked car, Rafael hating the silence when normally he would have loved.

“Did you really mean it? Spending Christmas with you?”

“I don’t say things I don’t mean it.”

“Wait, so when you call me ‘brat’ or ‘stupid’ you mean it?” Carisi looked shocked.

“Yes, because I usually say that when you are acting like a brat or doing something considered stupid.”

Carisi laughed, surprising Rafael who even flinched away with the loud sound.

“This was a very strange date.” Carisi starts the car and pulls out of the lot, already driving towards New York. “In a good way.”

“Don’t act like this is over, you still need to help me set up the tree.”

“Sure, Rafi.” Carisi says while leaning over and placing a quick kiss in Rafael’s cheek.

The way Carisi said his name made him blush slightly, then looking out of the window to hide his soft expression.

“And you have to promise me that there will be more dates, preferably in a warm place.”

“I promise all kinds of dates...and don’t worry, i will cook on Christmas’s Eve and Christmas’s day and-”

“Being a little presumptuous, no?” Rafael said almost laughing.

“No, just very proud of my cooking skills and sure you won’t want me gone from your sight once you prove my calzone and cookies.”

Rafael places his hand over Carisi’s tight and leaves it there through the whole way down to the city, happy to be consumed by the heater of the car and Carisi’s humming voice.

Maybe working and being with Carisi wouldn’t be a problem after all, Rafael was starting to realize that even with his quirks and overwhelming Staten Island accent, no filter most of the time and obnoxious comments, Carisi was someone Rafael wanted to have around for an undefined amount of hours.

Forever, probably.

  
  
  


**THE END**


End file.
